PTSD Awareness Month

When I was younger, when I would hear “PTSD",” I automatically thought of soldiers fighting in a war. The things they had to go through and witness are beyond what I can comprehend. It wasn’t until a couple years ago, when I started regularly going to therapy, that I discovered that PTSD can apply to really anybody who goes through any kind of traumatic event. Including me. Ian’s diagnosis and brain injury have brought on a lot of negative emotions for me. I’m learning to navigate our life and heal from what we went through.

A couple months ago, Ian’s cub scout troop went to visit our local EMS crew to learn about what they do. This same spot we met them at was the same location Ian was loaded into the ambulance to be taken to Children’s when his tumor hemorrhaged. Ian was with my in-laws at the time. They were in route to bring him back to us to take him down when his symptoms became increasingly worse. They decided to pull off and have EMS care for him. By the time my husband and I got there, Ian was already on the stretcher and EMS already looked him over. Although no one could have known at the time how bad it really was, they told us his heartrate was sitting a little lower than it should be, but it wasn’t dangerously low. Ian was very lethargic, which was normal after a major seizure. But even so, we decided it would be best for them to take him down to Children’s, so I rode in the ambulance with Ian while Mike drove down separate. We anticipated Ian would be getting surgery, as we were just at Children’s that very morning to discuss surgery for his recently discovered tumor growth. I never anticipated things to be as bad as they really were. Or maybe I just never had a chance to even process that possibility with how fast it all seemed to happen.

As we approached the visit with EMS, I felt my heart rate increase and my stomach twist into knots. I found myself taking deep breaths as we approached the ambulance vehicle, not having seen once since that day of Ian’s tumor hemorrhage. I immediately recognized my body was going into panic mode as flashbacks of that day came flooding back to me. I remember my sister asking me if I needed to leave, and I knew that wasn’t going to help me overcome this. I needed to turn that negative experience into something positive. And so through the anxiety, I helped Ian up into the ambulance and watched as he was in awe looking at all the equipment. He was so excited and happy to be there. And so I was able to turn the memory of my baby laying still on a stretcher to seeing him engaged and interactive on the same vehicle that ultimately helped save his life.

I realized pretty immediately I was having a PTSD moment here. And while I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to make that fully go away after almost losing my youngest child, it’s still important to me to able to identify and manage it.

If you have had something traumatic happen to you, these are some symptoms of PTSD you need to look for:

Trouble sleeping

Trouble concentrating

Irritability or angry outbursts

Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much

Intrusive memories/Recurrent dreams

Changes in mood and behavior/Depression/Anxiety

I want to help raise awareness on the different symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder and the different life altering events that can cause them. From fighting in wars to keep our country free and safe, to surviving a natural disaster. From surviving assault, to witnessing your child’s first seizure. If you think you or someone you love is suffering from PTSD, please see the link below to get help. And thank you for reading.

Help Raise PTSD Awareness - PTSD: National Center for PTSD (va.gov)